Verba Non Volant!

To speak is no ordinary act. The things we say don’t fly away or dissipate into thin air even when no man hears or holds us accountable. Every one of our words is recorded verbatim and without fail by the angels on our shoulders.

Speaking is a deed, and like every deed, it entails consequences and accountability when committed. We will answer in the akhirah for every word we utter. Holding an ever-present concern for the Afterlife, Muslims should weigh their words thoroughly, knowing that everything they say is known to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Therefore, speaking in all environments and under any circumstance is no different from reporting our words in Allah’s presence, for we are, at all times, in His presence.

We should maintain the presence of mind to keep our words in check in the presence of Almighty Allah, who hears and sees all. We do not talk indiscriminately in front of a friend of Allah, a scholar of Islam, an elder, or someone in a position of authority. How can we not have the same demeanor at all times, knowing we are seen by The Greatest?

Another matter to keep in mind is that the words that leave our mouths can be a catalyst for either order or disorder, just as they can be a reason for either punishment or reward in the Afterlife.

The famous Latin proverb “verba volant, scripta manent,” meaning “spoken words fly, writing remains,” is a pithy saying known by many and implies that for something to be recorded permanently, it needs to be written. However, to think that spoken words fly away and vanish from existence is a misconception emanating from sheer obliviousness. Every single word spoken since the dawn of time is preserved flawlessly.

It is known that Romans used this turn of phrase for commercial contracts. Another layer of ignorance is revealed when those who associate ratifying commercial agreements in writing with being a developed civilization simultaneously criticize Muslims for being behind the times. They believe Muslims do not have similar practices. Such individuals are blind to the ayah of mudayanah (loan), which has served as the regulatory edict for the debtor-creditor relationship in Islam for fourteen centuries.

The 282nd ayah in the Qur’an, also the longest, says, “O you who have believed, when you contract a debt for a specified term, write it down.” The Mufassirs, Islamic scholars whose expertise is the interpretation of the Qur’an, assert that this is recommended as a precaution against forgetting the amount or due date of a debt, any possible disagreement about the specifics thereof, or the possibility of the death of one or both sides of the transaction.

It is also worth noting that we have lately forgotten what it means to give our “word.” Each day, more and more of us take a dismissive and even negative stance towards any accounts related verbally, without a written document to enforce them. Our “words” have long since stopped being our bonds. Quite possibly because of the prevalence of the idea of speech as a transient, fleeting thing, most people do not even mind their words, the etiquette of speaking, or the responsibility that arises from speaking their minds. Writing may remain, but spoken words indeed don’t fly away either.

Muslims honor their words

As Muslims, we believe in Allah, who, in His infinite wisdom, says,“Honor your pledges, for you will surely be accountable for them” (Al-Isra, 34). We are the ummah of a prophet who said that keeping promises is an aspect of iman—a prophet so honorable that he turned down two sahabah who offered to join the forces of Islam at the battle of Badr just so that they could keep their promise to the mushriks. Let us remember that incident:

Hudhayfah bin Yaman (radiyallahu anh) and his father had come to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) to join the Muslim army as it proceeded to Badr. They told him that mushriks captured them after they left Medinah but were released upon promising that they would not join the Muslim forces. Muslims were fewer in numbers than the mushrik army, so there was a staggering need for more bodies to fight in the coming battle. Despite this, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) told Hudhayfah (radiyallahu anh) and his father to keep their promises to the mushriks and return to Medinah.

Keeping a promise, honoring one’s word, and fulfilling the terms of agreements are among the chief moral responsibilities of Muslims. For this reason, Muslims are “men and women of their words.” A Muslim cannot renege on or deny a promise with an inherently flawed logic such as, “there is no record or contract for the promises or the verbal commitments I made,” and compromise the worth of their word.

To speak graciously with gracious words

It wouldn’t be proper conduct befitting a Muslim to uphold what is written and entirely disregard what is verbally recounted. Spoken words are essential in Muslim culture. In this sense, any spoken word bears a weight, requires the speaker to uphold a level of decorum, and comes with a measure of responsibility simply by being uttered. It was a single word, “kun,” used by Allah the Almighty that led to the creation of the universe. He addressed humanity, His noblest creation, with revelations that were imparted in the form of words and granted the ability of speech only to them.

On a related note, the fact that “speaking to people with good words” is mentioned together in the 83rd ayah of surah Al-Baqarah with the fundamental principles of morality and iman such as “Not to worship except Allah, to do good to parents, relatives, orphans and the needy, to establish prayer, and to give zakat” serves as a powerful and conclusive case for the significance of this matter.

All prophets performed tabligh, the communication of the divine message entrusted to them, verbally. People become Muslims by uttering the hallowed phrase known as kalima-i shahadah and can also leave the fold of Islam by pronouncing a statement containing kufr (blasphemy) or causing it to manifest.

The hadiths that are considered absolute, most reliable sources for issuing rulings and the denying of which can lead a person to become tainted with kufr are classified as “mutawatir,” meaning the hadiths that have been passed down through tawatur. Its lexical definition is “something that is conveyed successively or repeatedly without being altered or interrupted.” As a hadith term, it denotes “a narration that is recounted by a group of people that cannot be thought of as logically possible to form a consensus, knowingly or unknowingly, on falsehood or fallacy, which receives the account verbally from a similar group possessing the same qualities of reliability.” The reason why mutawatir hadiths are deemed free from all doubt and viewed as authoritative and accurate sources is that, despite having been committed to writing at a later point in time, they have been reported through tawatur.

Every word we utter is recorded down to the last letter

The perceived fleeting nature of spoken words has led to the misguided notion that verbal statements fade away from memory and existence over time, as if a haze, and therefore pose no accountability for the person making them. In all likelihood, it is due to this misperception that some people have no qualms about speaking their minds in an unfiltered, brazen way, exerting their oratory faculties needlessly and on every subject, and spouting bold comments to the point of being arrogantly presumptuous. We barely give a thought to the words we assume have vanished into nothingness when they shoot through the air like an arrow aimed true and wound the heart they strike.

The wise people who have come before us have warned about “what enters or leaves our mouths,” yet we still don’t watch our words; we don’t consider where our incendiary remarks might spark a fire or what manner of disarray our blunderings might create. Worst of all, we don’t tend to think about what sins all this reckless speech could pave the way to, effectively making us partially responsible for those sins.

We seem to be oblivious that the records of our spoken deeds are as rigorously kept as the physical ones. However, it is said in the Qur’an, “Not a single word is uttered by one, but there is a watcher near him, ready (to record)” (Qaf, 18).

Some mufassirs point out that speaking may have been particularly emphasized in this ayah because of the offhanded attitude and outright insensitivity that people are prone to display when it comes to speaking. Once, someone asked Imam Malik (rahmatullahi alayh),

- Which words are committed to the record?

- Everything is recorded, even the moanings of a sick man, he said.

If that is the case, we should weigh our words carefully before speaking so that, in the Grand Court that will be established on the Day of Judgment, we don’t find ourselves among those described as, “And the book (of deeds) will be placed (before them), then you will see the guilty people scared of its contents and saying, “Woe to us! What a book is this! It has missed nothing, minor or major, but has taken it into account.” Thus they will find whatever they did present before them, and your Lord will not wrong anyone.” (Al-Kahf, 49).

A tongue may be a loose muscle but words cannot be set loose without adab

Talking is a human trait—one we most commonly use to settle our differences. Yet instead of reasoning and empathizing with each other to build bridges, we widen the rift between us and those we find ourselves at odds with. As with everything, immoderation in speaking breaks more than it builds, causing people to grow apart. A few reckless words casually thrown around by a tactless person with feeble judgment can easily confound many brilliant minds in their effort to contain and control the damage. Nowadays, a civil discourse or a friendly conversation can quickly descend into a heated argument with the slightest friction. More often than not, the agenda items that occupy the largest space in our minds are shaped by the heavily editorialized news programs, and commentaries of corrupt media corporations intended to disinform and manipulate. We frequently fail to swallow our anger and outwardly express our displeasure with words that harm our dignity and are unbefitting of the manners of a Muslim.

Social media is another outlet that falls under the category of a communication environment that propagates dysfunctional and detrimental articulations. Despite being generated primarily in written form, discussions, communications, and shared information on social networks and messaging applications such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Whatsapp seem to embody the irresponsible attitude generally seen in verbal communication due to the erroneous assumption that messages on these platforms are somehow temporary. Messaging in private groups, the ability to delete posts and textual content at will, restricting access to who can access all this information and how much of it can be accessed, and using aliases as masks to hide behind, almost as if in a masquerade, grants the illusion that any impulsive thought or idea spilled out onto the digital landscape can be wiped out, and the responsibility associated with doing so can be evaded with zero consequences. But just like the words flowing from our lips, everything written on these digital platforms is invariably inscribed onto our book of deeds and causes our list of accountable actions to swell.

There can be no denying that speaking is a natural necessity. The easiest way for a human being to show a reaction is in the form of spoken words. Having a conversation is undoubtedly the principal method of forming social bonds. However, holding one’s tongue when needed and discerning when and how much self-inhibition is required to safeguard against breaking other people’s hearts, leading to grievances and creating interpersonal conflicts, can be challenging and lead the speaker to sin by the mere act of speaking.

“Whoever is silent, he is saved.”

To protect people from the sinful disasters of the tongue, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent” (Bukhari, Adab, 31).

And with the hadith, “The words of the son of Adam count against him, not for him, except bidding what is good and forbidding what is evil, and remembering Allah.” (Ibn Majah, Fitan, 64), he decrees that, when we speak, we should do so using “good words” with clear boundaries of what these words are.

Some scholars interpreting this hadith proclaim that we are not disallowed from speech that is mubah (permissible) but that it is counted against us because, although it does not harm us, it also doesn’t contribute to us in the way of good deeds. Another group of scholars maintains that mubah worldly speech, exceeding the margin of what is necessary, can become “ma la ya’nihi,” something irrelevant or useless that a person shouldn’t concern themselves with, thus rendering such speech a disadvantage against them.

The longer words and sentences span into a tortuous exchange, the greater the likelihood of a conversation leading to gossipping, malevolent suspicion, slander, and lies. But perhaps the most poignant, unsettling danger of speaking profusely is mentioned in the following hadith by Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam):

“Do not talk too much without remembrance of Allah. Indeed excessive talking without remembrance of Allah hardens the heart. And indeed the furthest of people from Allah is the harsh-hearted” (Tirmidhi, Zuhd, 62).

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) gave extraordinarily good news for those who manage to stay in control of their words and use them wisely in the hadiths, “Whoever is silent, he is saved” (Tirmidhi, Qiyamah, 50) and “Whoever guarantees me (the chastity of) what is between his legs (i.e., his private parts), and what is between his jaws (i.e., his tongue), I guarantee him Paradise.” (Bukhari, Riqaq, 23). With such momentous messages looming large on our horizon of eternal life, it is clear that we should only say good, beneficial, constructive things, and if doing so is not possible, we should opt for silence.

Not leaving an open door for the shaytan

The simple intention to say what is good and right alone doesn’t always absolve us of the responsibility of knowing when, how, where, and to whom we should speak. In other words, there is a place and time for conversation as well as a code of manners to follow when doing so. There are many examples of well-intended statements being misinterpreted when unplugged from their original contexts. Some remarks are intentionally manipulated to form a skewed perspective by those who are eager to warp the narrative. Statements that lack clarity, are worded clumsily, or aren’t properly adjusted in terms of complexity for an intended audience have the potential to create instigation even if the meaning behind them is accurate.

On the other hand, the Qur’an tells us that no matter how right we are, taking people to task with an accusatory or demeaning tone serves only to give the shaytan the greenlight to get involved. In the 53rd ayah of surah Al-Isra, it is said, “Tell My servants that they should speak that which is best. Surely, Shaytan creates discord among them. Indeed, Satan is an open enemy to mankind.”

In this ayah, the believers are warned against speaking with words typical of mushriks who utilize arrogant, crude, derisive, aggressive, or  scathing language against those who uphold different ideals from theirs. Not only that, but Muslims are also called to address people with “qawl-i ahsan” (the best words).

The Holy and Infallible Qur’an employs an extensive range of positive and negative adjectives to describe manners of speech and communication. Undesirable manners or styles of speech are always addressed within the context of mushriks and munafiqs while good speech and praiseworthy mannerisms are only exemplified via the paradigms and behavioral frameworks of believers.

The long-standing maxim, “the style is the man himself,” conveys the pointed idea that the verbal demeanor with which a person expresses themselves sheds light on their character. Based on this understanding, it would be sound judgment to contend that the believers’ way of expression should be at a level of morality, refinement, and courtesy that reflects the pristine nature of their Muslim identity.

Easy to say but difficult to answer for

Although we are believers, we are still only human beings. There are times and places where we err, forget, falter, or misstep. We can get swept up in the heat of an argument and fail to recognize the potential of seemingly trivial or innocuous statements as a threat that could cost us our iman. The verses in the Qur’an, hadiths, and the wealth of advice that friends of Allah give us contain warnings against the dangers of slipping into such behavior besides the good news for those who speak good and kind words. For instance, one hadith says:

“A man utters a word pleasing to Allah without considering it of any significance for which Allah exalts his ranks (in Jannah); another one speaks a word displeasing to Allah without considering it of any importance, and for this reason, he will sink down into Hell.” (Bukhari).

Heeding this warning by Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) , our scholars have authored books under the category of “alfazu’l-kufr” (words that lead to blasphemy), drawing attention to seemingly harmless but ultimately ill-conceived sayings and phrases that have gained popularity in various time periods. Certain slogans, mottos, song lyrics, and careless jokes that run rampant in comedy shows, careless quips and jests thrown around randomly to draw comedic appreciation from an audience or a gathering of friends and associates—generally, words that threaten to clash with the Muslim aqidah fall under this category.

For example, young people have been associating the word “idol” with celebrities that they admire and follow. They are either unaware of or indifferent to the word’s foremost meaning being “a representation or symbol of an object of worship: a false god.” Or sometimes, when someone says, “I will do it inshallah,” they might face unfair and even downright hostile reactions such as, “don’t bring Allah into this!” However, it is said in the Qur’an, “And never say about anything, ‘I will do this tomorrow,’ unless (you say - 'if) Allah wills.” (Al-Kahf, 23-24),thus Allah commands us to say inshallah for future commitments.

We should understand perfectly that it will not be easy to answer, on the Day of Reckoning, for the things we say out of force of habit without having a care for what they might mean or considering whether they conform with our aqidah or not.

He who speaks vulgar words hurts only himself

Uttering profanities and using obscene language targeting people’s honor and dignity are among the vilest verbal actions that Muslims must exert every ounce of their strength to avoid. No matter what the reason is, nothing can justify speaking with expletives. In no way can such behavior be deemed fitting for a Muslim. Neither the dignity, honor, or iman of Muslims allow it because it is said in the Qur’an, “Allah does not like the public mention of bad words… ” (An-Nisa, 148).

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “A true believer does not taunt or curse or abuse or talk indecently.” (Tirmidhi, Birr, 48). The matter is so crucial that there are hadiths prohibiting usfrom swearing at other people’s parents (Bukhari, Adab, 4) and the dead (Bukhari, Janaiz, 97), independent of whether they are believers or kafirs, and even at “those whom they invoke other than Allah” (Al-An’am, 108).

The reason for such an adamant stance against the use of foul language is that such language only hurts its user; insults, profanities, and other uncouth articulations will be returned in full to them in the case that those who are targeted by such words retaliate in kind, leaving the grim burden of such indecent utterances to rest squarely on their shoulders. And even if this doesn’t end up being the case, vulgar speech is indicative of the speaker’s ignobleness as it reveals their low character, laying their true colors bare for all to see. Lastly, vulgar words are the burden of their speakers on account of hitching them up with the responsibility of having uttered them.

With no real concern for upholding the truth or the way of the righteous, the aggressive argument style that today’s media facilitates to spread like cancer makes using injurious language seem almost like a form of art. Without the moral safeguards that Islam sets in place, discussions can easily devolve into verbal jousting filled with insults, ridicule, derision, and acrimony. So, to avoid being on either the giving or receiving end of such toxic remarks, we should keep well out of such debates. Imam Awzai (rahmatullahi alayh) offers a precious lesson in this regard:

“If Allah wishes to ordain an ill fate for a community, He clears the path for them to plunge into meaningless disputes and keeps them from good deeds.”

Words pile up sky high as nerves fray and tempers rise

We are advised to refrain from participating in idle talk in the ayah, “And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant’” (Al-Qasas, 55). In addition, our scholars recommend that we tread lightly and not get into arguments with unperceptive people. Ensuring that Muslims maintain a courteous and cultivated level of communication between themselves when in disagreement and taking care that neither party in a discussion gives rise to situations that could be emotionally wounding or damaging to the brotherly relationship are considered far more valuable outcomes and higher-ranking priorities than ascertaining who is right and who is wrong. Indeed, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

“I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarreling even if he were in the right, a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking” (Tirmidhi, Birr, 58).

Discussions that descend into hostile confrontations due to a lack of principled moderation in line with moral guidelines cause fractures on all sides of the argument and lead to needlessly loud altercations that erode the tactful, reconciliatory atmosphere surrounding an otherwise-civil exchange of views. Just as talking indiscreetly or indiscriminately is a fundamental flaw, lengthening a statement is a defect of expression. Mawlana Jalaluddin Rumi (quddisa sirruhu) said, “It is those who are inept in expressing themselves that speak verbosely.” Getting into diffusive details and giving lengthy explanations about what we truly mean to say is condescending by virtue of the assumption that those listening to us would be incapable of comprehending what we mean accurately or sufficiently if we expressed ourselves briefly instead. It is said in old wisdom passed down for generations, “The listener is wiser to the words than the speaker,” as well as “Words are spoken in full only to the fool.”

The verses of the Qur’an and hadiths draw attention to other fine points that counsel us to extend the courtesy of brotherly relationship between Muslims to situations when speaking outside of an argument. For instance, Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) forbade us from talking privately around other people in his hadith, saying, “Two persons should not talk privately ignoring the third,” because it is against good manners (Abu Dawud, Adab, 24).

Similarly, it is among the speaking manners of a Muslim to defer to the elder of a gathering so that he has the first word when a matter is being discussed, to not speak out of turn, and to not interrupt others when it’s their turn to speak.

Words that save lives, words that ruin lives

To speak is no ordinary act. The things we say don’t fly away or dissipate into thin air even when no man hears or holds us accountable. Every one of our words is recorded verbatim and without fail by the angels on our shoulders.

Speaking is a deed, and like every deed, when committed, it entails consequences and accountability. We will answer in the akhirah for every word we utter. With this ever-present concern for the Afterlife, a Muslim should weigh their words fully, knowing that everything they say is known to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Therefore, speaking in any environment and under any circumstances is no different from saying the same words in the presence of Allah, for we are, at all times, in His presence.

We should maintain the presence of mind to keep our words in check in the presence of Almighty Allah, who hears and sees all, just as we cannot talk indiscriminately in front of a friend of Allah, a scholar of Islam, an elder or someone in a position of authority.

Another matter to keep in mind is that the words that leave our mouths can be a catalyst for either order or disorder, just as they can be a reason for either punishment or reward in the Afterlife.

WORDS TO AVOID

Among the ayahs in the Qur’an that give warnings about specific words and manners of speech Allah is displeased with, two of them concern a wider denomination, including believers. Of these, the 148th ayah of surah An-Nisa stating, “Allah does not like the saying of evil words openly except from anyone wronged,” is interpreted to indicate that “qawlu’s-su’i” (bad sayings) means saying words of la’nah (invoking curses upon others), insulting, censure, using curse words, and that using such words openly is a detestable act in the sight of Allah except for the oppressed. Also, Muslims are banned from “saying what they do not do” in the 2nd ayah of surah As-Saff.

Aside from these, the verses where Allah the Most High declares the manners and words He dislikes always mention these qualities by referring to mushriks (idol-worshippers) or munafiqs (hypocrites) since such appalling behavior isn’t deemed fitting for Muslims. Some of the most notable of these reprehensible modes of speech are as follows:

Qawlu’l-munkar: Any despicable word or statement that is invalid due to being against the shariah. (Al-Mujadila, 2)

Qawlu’z-zur: Distorting the truth and fabricating lies despite knowing the truth because it pleases one’s nafs to do so. (Al-Hajj, 30)

Qawlu’l-azim: Statements that denote shirk (blasphemy). (Al-Isra, 40)

Qawlu’l-mukhtalif: Conflicting, inconsistent statements that are used to assert claims contradictory to the truth. (Adh-Dhariyat, 8)

Qawlu’l-lahn: Statements that twist the accurate statement of another person to use as material for ridicule or insult by insinuating or alluding. (Muhammad, 30)

Qawlu’z-zahir: Statements that exist as a verbal construct but are meaningless and empty. (Ar-Ra’d, 33)

Qawlu’z-zukhruf: Embellished words that are aimed at deceiving people or directing them towards harmful or evil actions by causing them to be afflicted with waswasa. (Al-An’am, 132)

A MUSLIM’S MANNER OF SPEECH

If we do not remain silent per the suggestion of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), then we need to abide by the manners of speech decreed in the Qur’an so that we may speak “khayr.” The ayahs define how words of “khayr” can be spoken, to whom it can be said, and how it needs to be said to be considered “khayr.”

Qawlu’l-hasan (kind words): Saying the words that call people to khayr and the path of Allah kindly and without otherizing or hurting them or discriminating between them. (Al-Baqarah, 83; Al-Isra, 53)

Qawlu’l-karim (complimentary words): Talking to parents with respectful, compassionate, loving, and delighting words. (Al-Isra, 23)

Qawlu’l-ma’ruf (Words on which a consensus is formed to be accurate and beneficial due to their concurrence with shariah and sound judgment):

• Explaining the relevant situation with a benign, kindly persuasive language to the invalid and the weak whose wealth one takes under conservatorship and to the relatives who aren’t eligible to receive a share from an inheritance. Giving to the orphans and the poor hoping for more—even if only a small amount—and offering kind, heartwarming words of consolation. (An-Nisa, 5-8)
• For women who find themselves in a compelling situation that leaves them with no choice but to talk to men who aren’t their mahram to speak with a serious, dignified, modest bearing. (Al-Ahzab, 32)
• For men wanting to marry widowed women to express their intention in a fitting, legitimate way and manner. (Al-Baqarah, 235)
• Kind words, which are better than monetary and in-kind charity that the donor boasts about and rubs in poor people’s faces. (Al-Baqarah, 263)
• Saying what is in accordance with the commands and prohibitions of Allah (jalla jalaluhu). (Muhammad, 21)

Qawlu’l-layyin (Gentle words): Using a calm, composed, and unwavering manner to speak to cruel people to soften their hearts without antagonizing them, causing tempers to rise or giving ground on the truth. (Taha, 44)

Qawlu’l-baligh (Clear, coherent and effective words): Speaking with a clear, comprehensible, effective language to give advice or make tabligh to munafiqs and deniers. (An-Nisa, 63)

Qawli sadid (Words that express the truth):

• Being truthful about ourselves and speaking the truth with sincerity as a requirement of taqwa. (Al-Ahzab, 70)
• Being honest and sincere towards Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) in every word we utter and not deceiving ourselves. (An-Nisa, 9)

Qawlu’l-maysur (Soothing words): Offering our prayers and words of comfort to alleviate their troubles when we can’t provide someone who asks for something from us with what they ask due to our own insolvency. (Al-Isra, 28)

When someone asked him for something, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) would give it if he had it with him, and if not, he would direct the person making the request to the sahabah who could provide it. If they didn’t have what was asked for either, he would borrow from someone else and ensure that the asked-for possession in question would make it into the hands of the person who sought it. Sometimes, he wouldn’t be able to do this either and would pray, “May Allah provide us and you with sustenance through His grace and munificence.”

Ahmet Nafiz Yaşar