Walking Alone on the Shores of Life
How often do we now see the elderly, those in desperate need of care, increasing in numbers around us? The most heart-wrenching manifestation of this is witnessing them curled up, draped in tattered clothing, attempting to grasp at life from apartment entrances, ATM booths, and dim corners during the bitter cold of winter. A saddening reality is that many of these souls have families who, seeing them as an unmovable burden, have turned their backs on them.
As the waves of modern-day culture continue to wash over us, we find ourselves rapidly drifting towards individualism. The values binding us together, which crafted our societal identity, seem to be first bruised, then eroded, and now, alarmingly, lost. The rate of this erosion is so staggering that we can mention the stark and profound changes to how society functions that occurred or at least became prominent within the early years of the past decade, and still not fully realize the paradigm shifts we forcefully experience every single year at worrying speeds.
Pause for a moment and reflect: Does our society today resemble the one from just five years ago? Notice the vast changes? And ponder what might remain in common between the society of a century ago and today's. If we persist on this trajectory, predicting our endpoint, unless there's an unexpected turning tide, is distressingly straightforward.
The Weakening Bond Between the Young and the Old
A clear testament to this societal deterioration is the visibly diminishing bond of love and respect between our youth and the elderly. Claiming that our young ones still maintain the deep-rooted values of respect towards the elderly, values that spring from the very core of our faith, is becoming increasingly challenging.
Think of the scenes on public transport: an elder with a walking stick struggles to remain standing, while nearby, the youth seem oblivious, engaged in carefree laughter with their friends. Or consider the elderly left alone in their homes, gradually descending into squalor, unable to cater to their basic needs. Some, tragically, are only discovered to have passed away when the poignant stench of death escapes their abode. Others are relegated to nursing homes, with their well-being seldom inquired about by their kin, some neglected, some deprived of even a modicum of kindness, and others still faced with contempt or insult. And the most heart-rending: those who receive nothing of the love they so freely gave in their youth and are now devoid of the life-giving streams of compassion that they need to comfort their hearts in their twilight years.
Unfortunately, tragic sights of the elderly struggling to hold onto life, especially during winter’s icy embrace, are found in every city corner and are undeniably increasing. And the painful reality is that many of these souls have families who have cast them aside, seeing them as nothing but an encumbrance.
The Responsibility Rests on Our Shoulders
Indeed, the emergence of such a scene implicates our collective society – from our educational systems to our media and each individual. Yet, a significant responsibility rests upon the shoulders of parents. The family setting is the most potent classroom where younger members learn how to treat their elders. Parents must exemplify this, both in words and in deeds.
The reverence, love, and service that the adults, who have now become parents themselves, demonstrate towards their aging parents, whether they live together or meet occasionally, will mold the youngsters' perspectives on how to treat the elderly. This might, with hope, pave the way for a reduction in the distressing scenarios described earlier.
But what of the child who never witnesses respect towards the elderly in his home, who is never taught that as a divine duty, who grows without a sense of the hereafter, bred entirely in a culture of indifference? How could such a child ever show due respect to his parents when they grow old, and exhibit genuine kindness and compassion when placed in a caregiver position responsible for the well-being of any other elderly person? Could they at the very least, treat elderly people with basic decency and consideration for their late-in-life challenges by extending common courtesy to them when needed?
Crafting a Future by Honoring the Past
Isn't it fascinating how the circle of life operates? The very hands that cradled us in infancy, those elderly hands, now tremble in anticipation of a gesture of kindness. The undying efforts of our parents — from nursing our sicknesses and feeling the agony alongside us to striving with every ounce of their might to nourish, educate, and instill joy in us — become positively evident when they age. And in recognizing their sacrifices, we can only conclude that when they grow old, they're undeniably deserving of similar care, if not more. This kindness and care are debts of gratitude we owe to the ones who made it possible for us to become self-sufficient, capable people.
When we neglect to honor our elders, we may very well be crafting our own future of indifference. If the younger generation witnesses our insensitivity towards our aging parents — our disparaging words and neglectful actions — they, too, are likely to treat us similarly in our twilight years. One cannot deny that the agonies experienced by the elderly, whether left to fend for themselves on the streets, forgotten in care homes, or neglected in their own houses, often stem from such a background.
Guidance From the Qur’an
Esteeming the elderly, particularly our parents, isn’t merely a noble deed; it is a genuine act of worship. The Qur'an profoundly accentuates the importance of pleasing one's parents. In the quest for a harmonious society where love and respect are mutual, the Qur'an juxtaposes serving parents with worshiping Allah:
"Worship Allah, and do not associate with Him anything, and be good to parents." (An-Nisa, 36)
The simultaneous mention of devotion to Allah and service to parents is noteworthy here, implying the equivalence in their significance.
A similar echo resonates in another ayah where our Creator advises: "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and do good to parents. If any one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not scold them, and address them with respectful words, and submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion, and say, ‘My Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood.’" (Al-Isra, 23-24)
Again, devotion to Allah and honoring one's parents are mentioned in tandem, indicating that just as we shouldn't falter in our devotion to Allah, we must also remain unwavering in our duty to our parents. Even when age makes them more fragile, irritable, or demanding, we're admonished against showing even a hint of annoyance, such as saying “uff” to them. Such divine counsel doesn't just spotlight the grandeur of Islam but also illuminates the bedrock upon which familial happiness and societal bliss stand.
The Compassionate Heart of the Messenger
Having lost both his parents at a tender age, Prophet Muhammad's (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) heart was often enveloped in melancholy. The void of a childhood without parental warmth and guidance became his period of sorrow. Yet, despite this personal anguish, he became a beacon of empathy and understanding.
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) always urged those around him to recognize the value of their parents and never falter in their respect towards them. His words resonate with ageless wisdom: "He who does not show respect to our elders and kindness to our young is not of my community." With this saying, he underlined the timeless importance of intergenerational love and respect.
A poignant display of his reverence occurred when his milk mother, Halima (radiyallahu anha), visited him. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) stood up, removed his cloak, and spread it for her to sit, symbolizing the pinnacle of honor and respect. But his benevolence wasn’t limited to gestures alone. He consistently tended to her needs and was equally compassionate towards other elderly individuals, rushing to their aid whenever he learned of their needs.
And it wasn’t just about addressing their necessities. He would share lighthearted moments with them, jesting and delighting their hearts. Through such tender interactions, he fostered a heartening and affirming warmth.
A Call for Sensitivity
A true Muslim adorns every phase of life with the beauty and grace of Islam’s moral and spiritual excellence. While striving for the pleasure of Allah the Almighty, they also fulfill the responsibilities of being human. In doing so, they seek to contribute to the peace and tranquility of society. Every act of kindness they bestow today is an investment, with returns of benevolence anticipated in the future – akin to repaying a debt when its time comes.
To articulate the joy elderly individuals feel when shown interest, offered assistance, or visited in nursing homes by younger generations is beyond words. Those blessed with the possibility of aging gracefully should start preparing now to ensure this final chapter is fulfilling. We must add the merit of serving the elderly to our books of deeds, ensuring blessings for the hereafter.
Let us never forget that the children we raise today will one day be the pillars of our society. Let's imbue them with values that ensure they, too, will respect and care for the elders amongst them.
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